Movie Monday #8
1. A Fish Called Wanda: I thought I had seen this movie and that it was about Cher in a bathtub but apparently that's Mermaids. This is actually a heist movie that takes place in a universe where Jamie Lee Curtis pretends she wants to sleep with every man she meets, and for some reason the men do not question whether this is true. Kevin Kline won an Oscar. Well, okay. Why not? This movie was just funny and I honestly don't have much to say about it. It has many MANY zingers. I think my favorite was: "I've worn dresses with higher IQs!" The ending was perfect.
2. Split Second: Rutger Hauer stars as an absolute garbage can of a cop in a waterlogged London of the future (2008). Normally when the lead is a loose cannon cop, he has some form of genius to recommend him, and his methods, while questionable, are effective. Not so here. This is obvious in the first five minutes, in which a young lady asks Rutger Hauer to watch the bathroom door at a nightclub while she pees. He agrees, but then he leaves immediately to get coffee and she is murdered. He then (more than once) demands that a Rottweiler tell him what it saw. Importantly, it is a regular Rottweiler not a talking one. He spends the rest of the movie being very mean to his strait-laced partner and shooting at nothing. For the most part I don't think this movie meant to be funny but sometimes I laughed a little and actually Ruger Hauer did too. Kim Cattrall is there and she at least deserved a better wig for her trouble. The last 15 minutes got very campy and I actually enjoyed it. It would have been fine if I had never seen this movie.
3. Def by Temptation: I had no idea what this would be about. Videodrome has a handwritten note on the box (pictured below) that says "Fucking amazing! Check it out!" so I said "Ok!" It was in fact a pretty great vampire (or succubus??) movie. In an early sex murder scene her shower sprays blood which seems like a waste of food like if my shower sprayed cookies. There are incredibly sweet and funny scenes between the main character and his big city BFF Dwayne Wayne. These were my favorite parts. Highly recommended for horror fans.
4. Prisoners: Filmed in my hometown, Prisoners is about an extremely inarticulate cop who must've been in the bathroom when the training session covered lawful search procedures. This is a movie that asks, "Can things get any worse?" and then says "Absolutely!" and then puts snakes on top. There are also many unlikely coincidences. Kevin says maybe this movie is an allegory for the war on terror and after I thought about it that seems very astute, but I'm still stuck on the snakes. I will admit that this movie has very good performances, especially by Hugh Jackman. Poor Paul Dano. I hope he gets to play a regular guy someday. Why is Jake Gyllenhaal dressed like David Lynch? Why is Melissa Leo in old lady makeup? Did they not know there are ladies the right age who act? I guess Helen Mirren turned them down. Anyway, you don't need to watch this.
Bonus! Night of the Living Dead: God this movie is so good! Maybe a perfect movie. I loved the tension of it being almost entirely indoors, but lest you get lulled into a false sense of security, the undead will abruptly eat some very nice people's entrails right in front of your face and you will scream because you really did not think this movie was that kind of movie! It's so good.