Movie Monday #11
1) Tremors: Despite being based on the faulty premise that a seismology PhD student wouldn't have read Dune and known exactly how to walk on sand without attracting the Graboids, this is a good movie. It's not quite horror and not quite comedy. I could have gone for a bit more of either or both, but I still liked it. The effects for the most part are GREAT. I genuinely didn't know that a lot of the time I was looking at miniatures. Reba McEntire is there and good thing because they'd have been up shit creek without her big guns and bigger accent. The main question I had was, was Kevin Bacon handsome? I mean, he is NOW, but then? I'm just not sure! Recommended.
2) Cats: You haven't really lived until you've heard Sir Ian McKellen and Idris Elba say MEOW MEOW MEOW. I think it's a feat that this movie left my jaw hanging open without any violence or gore. That said, in many ways this movie is terrifying. Cat Judi Dench is wearing a fur coat (WHO WAS IT?). The size perspective is all wrong - the cats seem more like the size of pigeons. They have entirely human hands! Rebel Wilson unzips herself to reveal...herself. I don't do drugs, but if you do it seems like it would enhance the viewing experience. Recommended, honestly.
3) Ice Pirates: This surpassingly silly movie has an endearing highschool theater quality to it, in that it asks "What costumes do we NEED? Well, what costumes do we already HAVE?" And then it replies: "Looks like we're gonna have knights in chainmail and a French maid on our spaceship!" And why not? Anjelica Huston is here, which is proof positive that everyone has to start somewhere. Ron Perlman is here too. Anjelica and Ron are space ice bandits and along with their roguishly handsome captain who is definitely not Han Solo, they kidnap/rescue a princess who is definitely not Leia. Recommended.
4) One False Move: I walked out on this movie after about 7 minutes. During that time I saw Billy Bob Thornton beat up one woman and pour lighter fluid on another. This might be a good movie, but I'll never know and I'm fine with that.
BONUS streaming rental: Jaws!! I had never seen Jaws! Can you believe that?! Honestly, what a treat to see this with totally fresh eyes. I only knew there was a big shark and a line about needing a bigger boat, but I genuinely knew nothing else. I absolutely loved it. Roy Scheider and his wife genuinely like each other! They like their dumb little kids! It's so nice! I loved Quint/Captain Ahab! The shark looks mostly incredible! I screamed several times! Also, in many ways this movie was about the COVID-19 pandemic, which was very unsettling! Let's all pull ourselves together and not pretend that BIG PROBLEMS are not problems! Except in reality shark attacks are not really a problem, I hope you know that! The shark is a metaphor! I loved this movie, ok bye!